The Identity Shift That Changes Everything for Women in Corporate

A client said something recently that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

“If I put myself first and set boundaries or say no, I’ll be put on a Performance Improvement Plan, lose my job, I’ll lose my house and my whole life will fall apart.”

It makes sense that logging off on time at 4:59 PM to make pilates feels impossible because it’s not really about Pilates.

There’s an entire identity shift required to become the woman who puts herself first (and feels safe doing it).

I can’t stop thinking about this conversation with my client because in the same breath, she said:

“But the way I’m living right now isn’t working. I know I can’t keep going like this.”

She wants change but doesn’t know how to create it (which is of course why she hired me).

Like so many clients working in corporate (maybe even you), she’s been in survival mode for 15 years feeling anxious, resentful at coworkers for overworking and completely depleted after working 60 hour weeks.

Why?

Because she built her identity around being the woman who’s always available, always gets it done, always prepared and is the best at what she does, regardless of the cost to her wellbeing.

Her identity as the person who proves her worth through productivity worked to help her succed, but it isn’t working anymore, and is what needs to change in order for her habits to change.

Now this is what I want you to think about…

Your identity as the person who says yes to every project and always presents a perfect presentation worked to land your dream job and the big raise, but it’s not working anymore now that you have have two kids and want to actually be present for your vacations.

Your natural tendency to be hard on yourself, whispering that you’re not doing enough even though you work harder than anyone on your team manifests itself into those racing thoughts keeping you awake at 2 AM, replaying to-do lists instead of resting and leaving you too drained to meet your friends for dinner or do what you love.

Your identity is what needs to change, and then your habits will more easily change.

Here’s the thing.

It’s not just a matter of having discipline to leave early and make your kids basketball game or the occasional happy hour.

It’s really about changing your identity from someone who always gets it done regardless of the costs to someone who takes care of themselves first [as in not thinking you will lose your job if you start doing the things you love].

Inside my coaching, I’m helping my clients make this identity shift and they are discovering major breakthroughs that I know you need to hear too.

When I asked her what felt hard about slowing down and prioritizing herself, she replied:

“I don’t know how to exist differently. I’m biased towards action.”

The solution?

It’s not what you’d expect.

It’s not about learning a better time management system, productivity hack or calendar blocking.

When you learn to feel safe in stillness and confident in your boundaries, you’ll slowly begin to shift from survival mode to leading yourself from a calm and grounded power.

That comes from WITHIN You.