Healing Through Honest Communication
Some of the most meaningful healing I’ve experienced didn’t come from books or retreats. It came from leaning into raw, [mostly] imperfect and honest conversations. The kind that ask you to speak even when your voice is shaking and the kind that risk misunderstanding, rejection or silence. In other words, the 'tough' ones.
This is the essence of healing through honest communication. Not surface-level agreement, but real, uncomfortable truth that cracks something open inside of you.
Why We Avoid the Truth
I have a history of running - literally and figuratively - and this is because I was conditioned to avoid discomfort. To keep things smooth and light. To protect others from my feelings, or myself from being “too much.”
However, it has become clear to me that silence is a high price to pay, because my unspoken words built walls.
And when words build walls it creates an energy where avoided truths fester in the dark, which can lead to prolonged anger, resentment and bitterness that seeps into our relationships.
Interestingly enough, more times than not, the pain we carry isn’t from the conflict itself, but from the conversations we never had. The ones we let go because we weren't willing to lean in and have the raw, imperfect and honest conversation.
And then we lose the depth, not because the connection wasn’t real, but because we didn’t know how to stay with the truth long enough for something sacred to unfold.
The Cost of Staying Quiet
It’s easy to convince ourselves that not speaking our truth is kind (and sometimes that might be true) or that conflict avoidance is peacekeeping (been there done that). But deep down, there is a difference between politeness and betrayal. When we don’t name what’s true, we chip away at trust - with others and ourselves.
This is where emotional intimacy in relationships is either created or fractured because intimacy lives in the moments we choose transparency over safety, and in the tension of being fully seen and still choosing to stay.
What Honest Communication Actually Looks Like
Honest communication is about presence [this is a skill that I'm still learning to be perfectly honest]. That might look like...
Saying what’s true, clearly and compassionately
Listening without rushing to fix [the situation or person]
Naming your needs without shame
Letting someone see you without the armor
Sometimes it will bring closeness and sometimes it won’t, but what it always brings is integrity. And from that place, you can build something real. For many this is super scary, but once we are there and experience it, we feel how freeing this energy of realness, rawness and vulnerability really is.
Truth as a Sacred Practice
There’s nothing spiritual about silence when it hides our hearts, and truly opening my heart to others has been a huge part of my journey. The most powerful practice I return to again and again is this: just say the thing. It's so simple, yet not easy.
Repetition of saying the thing that’s been sitting in my chest.
The thing that might be misunderstood.
The thing that might set me free.
This is what truth-telling for personal growth looks like. Not just for the sake of expression, but because truth is what opens us to transformation and sets us free - I know this because I have lived it so many times.
What to Do Next
If you’re navigating a difficult relationship, or noticing how often you hold back your truth, take a pause.
Ask:
What have I been avoiding saying?
What’s the cost of staying silent?
What might shift if I said the thing with care?
You don’t need a script, but I do love to journal and align on my thoughts - other times I love to just be in the moment and allow my intuition to guide me.
And you don’t need perfect timing - I usually pray for an opening to have the conversation and again trust my intuition to guide me when that moment arrives.
All that is truly required is presence, courage and the willingness to let love speak [even through fear].
Final Word
Healing lives in honest moments. So, say the thing, because your voice is sacred and your truth deserves to be heard.
I love you.