Loosen The Reins
This morning, I was unexpectedly overcome with emotion.
How synchronistic for this to happen today, when I’m reflecting on something much bigger than myself. Coincidence, I think not. Synchronicity, yes indeed. Here’s what happened.
I was sitting on a call with friends—sisters, actually—from around the world. We were talking about stepping into our True Power, facing the resistance that comes up, and reflecting on where we were before we accepted the invitation to Rise.
I could sense the resistance I had in my body before the call, but I wasn’t fully sure why.
I recognized I was resisting because I had read the questions ahead of time, but didn’t take the time to reflect. I put them aside. During the call, I didn’t want to share my thoughts, so I stayed quiet, letting others speak. I listened intently, appreciating the beauty of their words as they spoke.
Then, it was my turn to speak, and it hit me all at once. The tears started pouring down my face. Before I knew it, I was lost in the emotions. There was no stopping them.
I have no idea what I said on that call, but I trust that whatever words came out were from the heart. ❤️
There is one thing I do remember saying though.
I told my sisters, “I’m resisting these questions because they’re taking me back to memories of darker days. The days when I wasn’t as happy, not living freely, not aware of my True Power within.”
Those days were not long ago, and that’s why I think I was getting emotional. Fear was surfacing because I don’t want to go back to those days, or the memories of those days, if I can avoid it.
They were the days when I would ask myself, “Is this what life is really supposed to be like? Feeling sad, angry, judgmental, and like life is a struggle most of the time?” They were the days when I felt like I was going to explode because the stress inside me was boiling over, and there was nowhere for it to go but out. They were the days when I showed up in life like a robot, following the lead of others, doing what society told me to do, but not living in alignment with my True Self.
After the call, I lay on the floor to meditate, feeling into my heart space. The tears kept coming, but I stayed open to the emotions that were surfacing and asked myself any questions that came to mind.
Then, I started hearing whispers.
You are ok.
We are with you.
Let us guide you.
Surrender to our love.
We got this together.
The tears flowed even more, but I stayed centered, focusing on my heart space and feeling into what was coming up. Then, after a few moments, I heard:
Loosen the reins.
That phrase immediately jolted me awake. It reminded me of my horseback riding lessons, where my instructor often tells me to loosen the reins. One moment, I’m told to tighten them; the next, to loosen them. More often than not, she’s encouraging me to loosen them. It’s like I’m either tightening or loosening, with no middle ground.
After this thought, I heard:
Surrender. Trust.
And suddenly, it clicked. I’ve been receiving so many signs to let go—whether through other people’s words, dreams, or visions. But I resist. And when I resist, I get pulled back into old patterns of thinking that I need to plan, control, and do.
Although I’m feeling some sadness in this moment, there’s a part of me that’s deeply grateful for these whispers. They’re reminding me that I’m ok, that I’m surrounded by love, and that this love is guiding me—if I only surrender. I’m also grateful for the reminder that I’m a co-creator in this world, but I also need to learn how to loosen the reins and stop trying to control everything.
As I sit with these thoughts, I realize I have a pulsing headache. This usually happens when I allow myself to feel and release. I’m feeling sadness, yes, but I’m also feeling gratitude, appreciation, acceptance, and love. I know that these emotions need to come to the surface to heal, and I was reminded of this as I reflected on a conversation I had recently about the sweet taste of grace and ease.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is to speak out about how I’m really feeling. To admit that I have good days and bad days. To admit that I cry, I laugh, and I don’t always have it all together. To show you that emotions can arise unexpectedly, sometimes at the most inopportune and uncomfortable times.
So, when this happens to you, show yourself grace and ease. Practice being. Shower yourself with love and remember that this moment, too, shall pass.
If you’re witnessing someone else going through this, let it be a reminder to be present, to show compassion, and to share your love. Allow them to be seen, heard, and held in the fullness of your goodness.
And, my friends, never forget:
You will be ok.
You are not alone.
Let your heart guide you.
Surrender to the great sufficiency of love that surrounds you.
You are a co-creator in this great, big, mysterious, and beautiful world.
Loosen the reins.
I love you, and thank you for listening to my heartstrings today. 💖